Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Exhaustion...

I can totally understand why a woman would choose to switch over to formula after giving breastfeeding a go. There are so many things that can affect whether it is successful or not. And there are so many definitions of successful. And when is it successful or not?

I'm going through a bit of a rough spot now. Overall, it appears that things are going well. Grace is thriving. I can almost see her growing before my eyes and she's very happy and content in general. It's evenings/nights that are wearing me down. For the last week, she has not wanted to go to bed before nursing at least 5 hours or so straight. That's no exaggeration. There have been 4 am bedtimes, despite all my attempts at establishing a routine. I can't satisfy her at night and that means I don't sleep. It's 1:35 am now and she's still up (thankfully Sejin took her for a while, although she's fussy, wanting to eat).

So, now that I have some experience with this, I would never judge a woman for changing to formula. All I want to do now is give her a bottle to fill her up and then get some sleep. The only thing stopping me from doing that is a call from a friend today who went through this exact same ordeal. Giving her baby a bottle every night resulted in him eventually preferring the bottle and her milk supply decreasing. Her advice was to keep on trucking and avoid the bottle. I appreciated her call and I'm going to take her advice for one week. If things don't improve, I will consider supplementing with a bottle every evening. Even if Grace is gaining weight and doing well, I want to feel decent every day so I can be a good mom.

4 comments:

Mark Eaton said...

Congratulations! Glad to hear mother and daughter are well. Fantastic photographs, too.

If you do decide to use formula, watch out for the Vitagermine from France. Some samples have tested positive for bacteria. Not too good for the little ones.

Becky said...

Ahh Sarah!
It is so hard. For me, breastfeeding only lasted a week. I was too exhausted and was so tense when I was feeding that my daughter could tell. Good luck! She is a cutie!

MKM said...

Hi Sarah,

your daughter is super cute! It makes me wish for another one, actually! (pang pang)

My daughter is almost 3 - and I remember so clearly the exhaustion you're talking about. Although my first 'batch' of tiredness didn't hit until she was about 7 months old I'm sure it must be that same wretched feeling you're talking about. Ug. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, I don't think that anyone would (or should) judge you if you chose to switch to formula; you're right that what your daughter needs most is a healthy mother. However, I too would urge you to stick it out for a while longer (the exhaustion DOES pass, I promise). There have been far too many nasty things found in formulas in far too many countries for anyone to be sure that *they* are they healthiest option for your baby. It IS stressful, isn't it?

Drop by my blog and dig through the archives for some hope and inspiration if you want. My husband stayed home with our baby for a few months while I worked (from her 3rd month until she was 9 moths old) and I think that was good for them both!

Be strong!

^^

Colette Mowatt said...

Hello. just came across your blog from looking at the ripple shawl on Ravelry. My children are 13 and 15 now and I fed both of them, I remember how you are feeling but if you can just stick it with just your milk it is really worth it, I know all this time down the line it must seem easy for me to say but it does get better, so much better.